Killing the Old Me

The problem with me is that I think of failure before attempting to cross the finish line - killing all motivation or drive due to self-doubt I didn't think I had. Obviously that's what it is, the second I think " Oh that YouTube video is high effort, but with no reward if we don't blow up soon.." this negative way of thinking has killed the successful version that I have yet to unlock. So I must kill this Jaylen. This Jaylen is too complacent, lacks emotional control, doesn't know how to use anger to his advantage. At this point I should have a YouTube channel with over 15+ videos if I was freaking serious. The fact I kept starting a bunch of different channels then refusing to sit through the process of growth was actually me seeking quick gratification. I didn't see growth immediately from one niche so I hopped to another. The Finance channel is still a solid idea, maybe chance the approach, use memes to make finance more entertaining. No discipline, I'm operating like a child. Picking something up and dropping it seconds later. Can't even commit to completing a 5 min YouTube video in one day because my mind drifts like aggressive ocean currents. My mental state has to change and this only comes by killing the old habits, the old thought process, the old short-term goals, essentially killing the old me.

Why is Donald Trump Saving Venezuela from Their Dictator a Problem?